Well it’s that time again and doesn’t it come around quickly. No I don’t mean the annual anniversary of our Co-ordinator Dynamic Dave purchasing a round of drinks for everyone, I mean the potential arrival on the horizon of one Mr Santa Claus (Father Christmas if you live outside Cowbridge).
Claus is a gentleman who by his very nature shares his frustrations at not being able to slot himself properly into an MX5 Mk4 and as a consequence has to endure having to trundle around during his months off in an under powered 150,000 mile (probably clocked) Mk3, with ripped cloth seats, fogged over lights and a leaking roof at that.
Did you know that his sleigh was being pulled out of the sky this year as it did not meet current critical emissions regulations, maybe that twin turbo with an inter-cooler was one mod too far for him. Good news however is that he has sorted himself out with an Ex-NHS ambulance, high miles on it again, but with full service history and one month parts and labour warranty. I heard many people are dying to have ride in the back.
Santa worries not about such issues around transportation though as its Christmas, and as we know all is always well around the festive period. As usual at this time of the year he has a full sack, indeed his sack brimmeth over with wondrous delights for all you little boys and girls out there and it’s been filling up for some time.
After he has come down your chimney and emptied said contents of his sack over your best bit of rug, you can be safe in the knowledge that he envies not your new, or newish Mk4s as he is totally content that he is bringing joy to the ever growing membership of the MX5 South Wales branch with his goods and accessories, even undercutting MX5 parts by 30%, but sadly offering a poorer delivery time.
Anyway, enough nonsense and waffle, it is really Christmas again…Ho Ho Ho and time for one of the most eagerly anticipated runs of the MX5 calendar. The Christmas run.
This year, the first congregation of cars is at Abergavenny. Not all those attending the feast will participate in the shorter run. The eager element of members will already be sat in the final feeding destination with their best Marks and Sparks gear on, bought especially for the day, poppers in hand, crackers ready to pull, shoes polished to within an inch of their life and ready to rock and roll, whilst stinking of harmony hairspray and Brylcreem. They have even pushed the boat out to spare a squirt of their best and most expensive perfume for today, you know the stuff that only comes out at funerals and weddings and smells like cats pee. It’s gone off love! You bought your knocked off Chanel, Brut and Old Spice in a boot sale in Porthcawl in 1983 remember?. They told you then it wasn’t real, but did you listen? That is why the cats follow you home from Tesco. I jest. Ho Ho Ho.
On the run itself, the weather is what it is, at least it didn’t snow, but a pleasant little organised jaunt all the same to get driving participants into the mood for the feast to follow. We won’t mention the deliberate diversion will we?….an intentional diversion allowing drivers and their passengers to see the festive bum cracks under the fluorescent tabards of Ray Jones and Steve McCarthy who were digging a big hole for the water board, hence shutting the street off. Enjoyed that we did.
One of Santa’s reindeer (Rudolph) has gone lame (shock horror) and will not be able to pull the new ambulance sleigh (more shock horror). Good news though, he is being replaced by the lesser known cousin called Adolf, Adolf the brown nosed reindeer, he can fly just as fast as Rudolph but just can’t stop as quickly.
Anyway back to the run. The festivities this year are held at Saint Pierre golf club in Chepstow. A venue used by the club previously with some mixed reviews. However this is not deterring anyone at this stage and happiness reigns. In fact upon entry after avoiding flying balls, Mx5 club members are seen to be grinning like snowmen seeing a “Snowblower” coming down the street.
Rooms are allocated for the remainers (nothing to do with Brexit) and throat lubricating substances begin to flow freely free at the bar, a mark of things to come maybe.
Bar prices were fair but as we know Christmas can be a rip off on occasions, so whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross.
The group are given their own private function room for this special occasion. It is beautifully decorated with seating allocation around huge socially friendly large tables. As soon as seating takes place and the alcohol flows even more freely, the inner children of certain members comes to the surface with blown up balloons being released and farting their way across the hall in abundance, whilst others endeavour to make phallic objects from the balloons that they have been given (now behave – mentioning no names). At one stage a hairy chest competition also took place (see the photos), so it must be Christmas after all.
The courses of food from the Christmas carvery was to a very high standard this time around and hopefully all genuinely enjoyed the fayre and service that was on offer for us for this one.
The annual raffle presentation took place, with first lucky members drawn out of the hat having their choice of Prosecco, a nice Chardonnay or Echo falls rose wine, whilst those drawn out at the latter end of the raffle received a packet of Happy Shopper Mint Imperials, a box of carbolic soap or some fire lighters. Fizzies all round next year!
A long serving gentleman club member who’s name shall remain confidential to save his embarrassment, was ready to receive his award for the excellent detailing work carried out on his car in the National this year. A wondrous accolade again, however on the run he had technical issues with his shoes and emergency repairs were made by person/s from another lesser local MX5 club who shall also remain nameless (please see photograph for full details). In fact his sole got in a flap. Well done on your achievement by the way you anonymous fellow you deserve it.
So as the day came to its conclusion, bellies were full, the excitement had ebbed away and the non remainers did not remain. A cluster of hardy individuals gathered as the night sky darkened as if in preparation for a session with alcoholics anonymous, conversations settling around the price of coal, moth balls in knicker drawers and who had the best deal on their new one this year. We did it again!
To all those members who have participated in putting runs together in 2019 (which if you have done one is no mean feat) a sincere thanks. Thanks also to all of those that have attended our runs on a regular basis and have made the club what it is at the moment. And a final pause for thought to regular members past, some of whom are no longer with us.
So to all you hairdressers out there, a very Merry Christmas, A Happy New Year, drive safely and see you all in 2020 to do it allllllllllllllll again.